An Unknown Monkey

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they’re said to be,
Said one to the others: “Now listen, you two,
There’s a certain rumour that can’t be true:
That man descended from our noble race!
The very idea is a disgrace!

No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life,
And you’ve never known a mother monk,
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another,
Till they scarcely know who is their mother,

Here’s another thing a monk won’t do:
Go out at night and get in a stew,
Or use a gun, or club, or knife,
To take some other monkey’s life,
Yes man descended – the ornery cuss –
But brother, he didn’t descend from US!

Theory of Evolution

First he was amoeba beginning to begin;
Then he was a tadpole with his tail tucked in;
Then he was a monkey hanging from a tree;
Now he is a doctor with a PhD.